When my iPhone drops…SO FUCKING REAL
real women have curves. real women have one single, continuous, infinite curve. real women are a hollow sphere of mass 1kg, suspended in a void. calculate real women’s acceleration if real women is struck by an object accelerating east at 5m/s/s.
jesus fucking christ piglet what the fuck
no it’s ok, pooh had it coming
wow what a douche
yeah no really don’t feel sorry for him he’s a butthole
i am in love with two people. one is you. the other one is also you, but from an alternate timeline with dragons.
i love how “lmao” has evolved over the years from a genuine expression of mirth to the modern symbol of wet, unemphatic amusement; the mere ghost of an emotion, reflecting the journey of modern youth from innocent naievete to hardened apathy lmao
In a world full of weird horse-faced humans,
Crazy head instructors,
And the fear of being a titan’s lunch,
And my two best friends
Try to do the impossible
Create a guide to help you survive the Titans
*Your results may vary.
You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.
We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”
I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”
He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels."
-Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals (x)
I’m pretty sure everyone’s goal in life is to do something they love as much as Anthony Mackie loves playing Falcon. I love him so much.
Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.